Saturday 10 October 2015

Words

 Photo: John McAndrew

Words are funny things. As we travel around the UK and Ireland, I realise that certain words - particularly place names - just sound amusing. A play I did a few years ago contained a moment where the word 'Plymouth' resulted in a huge laugh. Someone said to me at the time that he thought British place names sounded uniquely comical; in the same way that American place names sound expansive and romantic. You can't write Route 66 about the M1, for example.

Travelling around with this play, different words get different reactions in different places. 'Didcot Parkway' is much funnier in Oxford than anywhere else (so far; I'm hopeful about Bath); 'Sunderland' is hysterically funny in Newcastle, but sinks like a lead balloon in Sunderland. 'Christmas Day' is obviously much funnier the closer you are to Christmas. And, as I discovered this week, 'Quavers' isn't funny in Ireland.

I was told that this was because Quavers aren't sold in Ireland. Which they are. And some local people have pointed out to me that they think 'Quavers' is funny. My favourite theory goes as far to say that this is because Q is the funniest letter in the English language. I'm still pondering that one.

I happened to mention this, like I do lots of things, on Twitter. Mark Haddon suggested that maybe a word like 'Quavers' could geographically evolve as we travelled. Then he pointed out that 'Quavers' wasn't even in the novel in the first place; that Simon Stephens must have invented it for the play. Simon said that he reckoned it evolved in rehearsals, courtesy of the actor who originally played my part - Nick Sidi. Nick said that he'd even tried 'Cheese and Onion crisps' in previews before settling on 'Quavers'.

This week, I've attempted 'Quavers' three times; and 'Cheesy Doritos' (Simon's suggested Broadway alternative) twice on Thursday, which didn't exactly bring the house down. Last night, after discussions with the authorities, I went with 'Hula Hoops'.

So, yes. Words are funny things. And sometimes they're not.
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2 comments:

  1. Alan in Belfast (Alan Meban)16 October 2015 at 20:43

    I was at Wednesday's matinee in Belfast and must have blinked and missed the crisp reference. Did you use Quavers? Tayto would be a great local substitute - we're *into* Tayto cheese and onion locally ... as well as tours of the factory! Loved the show - enjoy what remains of the rest of the tour.

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  2. Lucas Hare17 October 2015 at 10:21

    Thank you! Yes, despite repeated requests for Taytos, I've only experimented with an alternative to Quavers last week, when we were outside the UK. And with full permission of those in charge. So far.

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